blubbering and flubbery

Usually I'm not so down on myself. I believe in spreading positive vibes, and that extends to what I think and say about my own attributes and abilities. It doesn't do any good to be supportive and complimentary with others if I continuously put myself down, bemoaning my perceived weaknesses. To me, that's still propagating the negativity around.

Yet I've been doing just that. For the last week, I've been lamenting and criticizing myself, especially my style. I dare describe it as some borderline whining and wailing, with more than a smidgen of "Poor me!" thrown in. Somehow I felt I sucked at getting dressed.

My poor mood was most definitely heavily intertwined with my concurrent icky cold (though it is hard to tell which one comes first...but once one happens, the other follows and then they feed off of each other like until I'm a blubbering, snotty-nosed mess with a cough that makes people edge away uncomfortably on the bus). When I tried to do a themed-dress up session earlier this week, nothing came out right. Not only did I fail at the "theme" (which is to remain on the down low - I'll have another shot at it later), I came out looking like a wannabe eclectically crazy dresser. You know, someone who tries to appear nutty and bizarre when such self-expression just simply isn't her. Moreover, I physically felt like the unrecognizable sludge languishing in the tupperware at the back of my fridge. I shouldn't have been so hard on myself given how sick I was, but this fashion blundering - this flub - made me feel even worse. The two photos featured are the only outfits that made it out of the rubble reasonably intact. In fact, outfit #2 became Monday's dapper work outfit, albeit with a less boobylicious, but still blue, bustier.

Well, we all have insecurities, but after a while, the self-deprecation just got a little old. Even my own antics started to grate on my nerves. I have everything to be thankful for: food, clothing, shelter, good health, loving family and friends, an education, the ability to earn an income...not to mention what is implied by the very existence of dreamecho (the blog, silly, not me) - I have the Internet, a digital camera and the luxury of free time to enjoy fashion, blog and read other blogs. In retrospect, I feel foolish for all my verbal bellyaching and self-belittling over my styling skills. So now, I am determined to stop my complaining and start believing in myself again. My spirits are back on the rise, though my cold does need to bite the dust. (Do you hear that, cold? You're going down.)

(1) Newport News white battenberg top, vintage fruit print dress, cobalt blue tights, Enzo Angiolini white square-toe flats, UO black ruched belt. (2) H&M pale pink silk blouse, Proenza Schouler for Target blue bustier, H&M brown/black striped high-waisted highwater (!) pants, off-white vintage Papagallo oxfords, white leather belt.